Cycling is Shit

Today, I decided cycling is shit.

I got about three hours sleep last night, had a non-productive and rubbish day at work, and snuck out the door a few minutes early. I sprinted along the road from work on my bike, in order to catch a train that didn't really go where I wanted to go, and meant extra work at the other end. Sweaty, with steamed up glasses, I hopped off the train and embarked on my journey from the wrong station back towards home.

My legs felt like they were made of wood, there was a mean headwind, and it was raining. Of course, this meant wearing a waterproof jacket, and coupled with the warm temperature, I felt like I was riding inside my own personal oven. My tyres were a bit flatter than they ought to have been, the chain was in serious need of a good degrease-and-relube, and my saddle was its usual unforgiving self.

I had to ride along a shitty potholed road, with fuckwit Daily Star reading Transit drivers trying to kill me at every given opportunity, as well as the joys of dodging the fat morons who like to walk on the cycle lane.

To sum it up, I hated my legs, I hated my bike, and I hated the route.

Which led me on to wondering why the hell I do this? My aim of course, is to work over the summer in order to pay off my debts from the last year at uni, and to hopefully allow me a degree of cushioning when it comes time to piss away all the money again next year. Most depressing however, is that three whole days of this would only add up to one 50 pack of Ilford 16x20" photographic paper, a lot of which I'd usually end up throwing straight in the bin because I'd forgotten to stop the enlarger down or the darkroom door had been left open.

Which in turn, led me on to wondering why the hell I'd decided to ditch my job and go to the Art School in the first place. Why I'd given up a stable, well-paying job where I got paid to go on fun wee trips to silly wee villages in the middle of nowhere, and could afford as many pints or rolls of film as I liked without having to worry too much.

In case you're wondering by the way, horrible cycle runs in the rain are the perfect time to be thinking about such things. It gives your mind lots of free time, and an amazing ability to focus purely on the negative.

And then I remembered. Working in my old safe job was alright, but actually it wasn't that safe at all - a lot of instability came to the job after I left, and I think I managed to jump ship at just the right time. And although I got to go on nice wee jaunts fairly often, the majority of the time was spent sitting at a desk facing death by spreadsheet. Of course, my main reason for wanting a well-paying job was so that I could afford things like Nikons and rolls of 160VC and be able to enjoy taking photographs. In fact, without that job, I never would've been able to get into photography at all, so I suppose I owe it one.

And then I remembered my year at Art School so far. The excellent (and not so excellent) people, the fun times had, and most importantly - the personal reward of having pushed myself into unknown territory and having come out the other side with a lot of good experiences.

Maybe if this cycle journey has taught me anything, it's not to make any more stupid expensive projects out of Ikea lamps and Polaroid film and give a little more love back to the digital camera!

As for the cycling thing, I often think about just buying a car, but I don't think I can be that person. I was happy to have my folks' old Corsa when I didn't have to pay for it, but the idea of spending hundreds of pounds on a car seems mad, when I could have so much more fun with it instead. Same with the guys I saw on expensive, lightweight road bikes with neon yellow jackets and lycra on - I'll quite happily take my rickety wee hack bike, old jeans and scabby old waterproof jacket and save the rest for having fun, whatever that may involve.

And anyway, all those horrible rides along crap roads just make those mountain biking days all that more special. I still don't think I can quite think of anything that compares to that feeling of nailing it down a dusty trail with sunshine and trees and the odd fly in the teeth for good measure.

Cycling is shit sometimes, but it's good for gaining a sense of perspective on things.